Earth Day

As I was folding a basket of clothes this evening and watching Oprah's Earth Day special she talked about the "garbage swirls in the ocean." We watched a program about this on the Discovery Channel a while back. I was reminded of one of my favorite talks by Julie Beck. This is just an excerpt...

Mothers Who Know Do Less
Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.


As parents we want to give our children everything. But often giving them less is really giving them more. It is my position that the best thing we can do for the earth is to consume less in the first place.

If you don't want the toy that comes with a kids meal, don't order the kids meal, ask for no toy or better yet skip the fast food altogether! I tried to avoid plastic toys when Awsumb was little and soon realized that wasn't going to happen. But I consciously think about what we are buying to add to our own growing "sea of plastic" here in our own home. Now, if we could just get toy makers to stop boxing things with out all those extra twist ties and layers of plastic packaging!

Don't buy so many things in individually wrapped packages. Although individually packages snacks may seem easier, it only takes a minute to pour a few goldfish into a little cup for your child. Same with juice. I don't like to use individual juice boxes at home. Instead I buy a big bottle and even usually add water to it when I serve it!

We are lucky to live in an area with an extensive recycling system. We have three large trash cans. The 1st is for regular trash, the 2nd is for all recycling (bottles, paper, cans, glass etc.) and the 3rd is for yard waste (food scraps and things like pizza boxes). We pay more money depending on the size of the can we have for our regular trash. In my neighborhood most people pay for the smallest size trash can for their regular trash, which makes the recycling can bigger in comparison. I think it is a great challenge to try for more recycling that regular trash each week.

A couple months ago we tried to go for a whole month without going to Target (which , if you don't already know, is where you buy all the plastic and bring it home in plastic bags! LOL!) This was really only truly possible because I have a good supply of soap and other needs stocked. We really did try, but eventually we ended up going in the last week and I don't even remember what for.

Next time you are checking out, or better yet, filling up your cart, think about what you are consuming and if there is a better way! As I always say, we vote with our dollar!

I think about Julie Beck's talk often. Especially this paragraph. "Choosing carefully or not at all" can be applied to other areas as well, such as the activities a child participates in. Do you spend more time driving around with your kids than at home just hanging out? More about this later...

(Read more of this talk by following the link "Mothers Who Know" in the Parenting and Family Links along the side of this blog.)

Moving Mountains

I can't stop thinking about mountains of laundry and people who live amongst them. For all you mountain dwellers or anyone who sometimes finds themselves on a little pathway leading towards the great peaks… Here are a few tips to help you MOVE MOUNTAINS! Of Laundry that is.

Set up a Laundry Routine. If you do not have a regular laundry day or it is not part of your daily routine, set this up NOW! I find it easier to wash a load every day as part of my routine. If I do this and keep it up, we never have dirty laundry because I am washing as soon as there is enough for a particular load. I have always been a bit obsessed with laundry. As soon as there is enough for a load I like to wash it right then! When we arrive home from a trip I usually have a load of laundry started before Kenneth is finished paying the taxi driver. These tips apply whether you do the laundry all in one day or as part of your regular daily routine.

Sort into loads. I prefer these four basic categories: Jeans & Darks (cold), Colored (cold) , Whites (hot with oxyclean), and Towels & Sheets (hot with bleach). Sometimes I subdivide them when I have reds, etc. I also subdivide whites, washing delicates separate and hanging them to dry. I use a laundry sorter with 3 sections for clothing items.

Our household routine is that ALL dirty laundry is immediately sorted. Anything with stains is set on top of the washer or over the side of the sorter as a signal that is needs pre-treatment (more about stains in a future blog). Because we live in a damp climate towels are placed in a separate basket in the bathrooms. I also keep a basket in the laundry room for odd things, wet items, or clothes that are extra filthy (from sports, etc.).

Wash as soon as you have a load. At the end of the day when everyone puts their PJ’s and tosses their clothes into the sorter, take note. If there is enough to make a load, start it right then. If your laundry room is near your back door like ours, put things directly into the machine and start it up when you walk in the door.

This works great after sports. Just today Kenneth and Awsumb had baseball practice and they started their wash when they walked in the door (I had previously left a couple things for them to add to their load so it would be a full load). It was switched after dinner and is now ready to fold and put away and ready for the big game on Thursday. Stain removal is also easier when tended to right away.

Start first thing in the morning. After you have showered and dressed for the day gather a load of laundry from your bedroom. For me this is usually sheets or towels. I wash towels almost every day because we live in a damp climate. I like to wash sheets once a week minimum. You many choose to assign a day of the week to each set of bedroom sheets. On your way to the laundry room, gather enough for a full load from the other bedrooms and bathrooms in the house. If you have one laundry day, you can still do this on your off days so that the mountain doesn’t grow out of control. Even if you only follow this rule on your big laundry day, this habit will get you started first thing in the morning so you can actually move that mountain by the end of the day.

But if you are like me and want to do laundry every day this fits nicely into a daily routine. This first load can be forgotten about until lunch or afternoon. At which time it is switched to the dryer. A second load that was gathered later in the day can then be started.

Fold or hang and put away RIGHT THEN! I always plan to have things finish in the dryer when I am ready to deal with them right then. For me this is in the late evening. When you fold or hang laundry directly out of the dryer it will be easier to iron and will fold nicely. There is nothing I love more than clean, warm laundry. I prefer to do this late at night while enjoying a guilty pleasure by watching something recorded on TiVo. I think it is best to iron right away as well, but admit I don’t always do this these days. At least hang the clothes so they are ready to go when you get around to ironing. (more on ironing in a future blog).

By putting your laundry away ASAP this eliminates the second deadly sin of laundry – mountains of CLEAN laundry, which will inevitably have to be washed again as they become dirty laundry because they were left sitting out, were walked on, pushed onto the floor and/or even mixed up with dirty laundry. THE HORROR!

If you are having problems putting your clean laundry away, this may be because you do not have enough space to put it away. If this is the case, you may suffer as many Americans do from having too many clothes. Clean out your closets, packing up out of season clothes and giving away clothing that no longer fits. Be ruthless. If you didn't wear it this season you are not going to wear it next winter either! Everything left should have a home.

Whistle while you work. I believe it is more economical to do the family laundry all together. But everyone is expected to help out. Awsumb is old enough now that he can gather and carry loads of laundry around. He can also switch the laundry to the dryer and can fold and put it away. Although I prefer to do laundry late at night, I didn’t want him to think clothes miraculously appear clean and folded as if the laundry fairy came to visit while he slept. So, I often arrange to have a load ready earlier in the day or save some for him to fold in the morning. (This takes great restraint from me because I prefer to put the towels away RIGHT THEN!) He is responsible for folding and putting away all towels in his bathroom, guest bathroom and kitchen. If he sees me folding towels I hardly have to ask anymore because he knows to come help do his “responsibility.” (read more in a future blog about responsibilities and allowance) The other night, Awsumb caught me folding towels after he was supposed to be in bed and ran in to help. OK, he may have just been avoiding bedtime, but I like to believe he knew it was his responsibility.

Awsumb and I often sing funny songs while we do housework together. I am sure this started when he was a toddler and I was trying to make day to day tasks entertaining. But, I am so glad I did this because now he thinks of it as sometime special we are doing together. Sometimes we sing an activity song about working together… Other times we make up silly words. Here is one of our favorites to the tune of Winnie the Pooh, “Mother and son, Mother and son, having some fun, getting things done, doot, do- doot- do, do- doot doot doot do.” When we work side by side our children we teach them that our home is important enough to us that we should respect it and keep it clean. We make it a together experience, not a chore.

We were out most of the weekend and ended up with a few loads lined up and waiting. I was able to quickly catch up because I had not let it turn into Mt. Saint Hardy. It didn’t take a miracle, but the will to just get it done. What mountains have you moved today?

Pockets!

Why do boys pants have to come with so many pockets? And why do boys think they have to fill them all up? And they pick the oddest things to fill them up with!

I have a system - I always check my pocket when I take my pants OFF. After I married Kenneth, I trained him to do the same so I would not have to check pockets when I do the laundry. Soon after I because the mother of a little boy I realized this would no longer work.

Sometime during the toddler years little boys discover pockets and are determined to fill them up. Twigs, rocks, shells, grass, etc. And you can never throw it out because it's all "treasure." I had to designate a place in the garage for the rocks and sticks because they were simply NOT coming in my house!

Awsumb attends a Montessori school where most of the classroom is hands-on manipulative materials. Because of this the kids come home with beads, puzzle pieces, and other odd items. At the beginning of each year the teachers send the same note home begging parents to "please send any found items back to the classroom... even if the piece seems insignificant because it goes to something in the classroom... please just send it back."

On day when I went in to help in Awsumb's classroom at the beginning of this school year I found him walking around with a couple of other boys getting set up for a project. Awsumb was wearing cargo pants and the sides of his legs were bulging to capacity. I asked him what he was carrying around and he began to list, "Two pencils, a pencil sharpener, an eraser, a glue stick, an extra glue stick, a ruler, scissors (basically his entire pencil box) and a white cloth." I asked what the white cloth was for and I guess he could tell I was about to confiscate it so he became very defensive stating, "but we need it in case our hands get sticky from the glue!"

I began to become suspicious of where the white cloth came from. When I questioned Awsumb he called his friend over and had him lift up his sweat shirt to reveal the backside of the GAP letters that were sewn on. Apparently the backing was itchy, so they removed it and Awsumb thought it would just be the best cleaning cloth! LOL!

YUCK! So this cloth came from the INSIDE of some boys sweatshirt. I don't care who it is that is soooo cooties! I begged him to throw it away reassuring Awsumb that the classroom had a sink in case they needed to wash their hands.

What have you found in your little boys (or girls) pockets?

Missing: One Grey Sock! $$Cash Reward if found$$

I have a confession. I am not a perfect parent.

You see, as many mothers do, I often measure my perfection as a parent by things that might not seem to matter to other people.

One of these is that I have NEVER lost a baby sock. Ever! Not one in 7 1/2 years of parenting. Not even one.

Years before I had a child I would often notice mothers standing around holding babies with only one sock. Or I would see a child in a stroller with one or more socks holding on for deal life. Probably because I live with OCD this always bothered me. I couldn't stop thinking about it... Where was the other sock, where had they left the other sock? (Where was Sunday?! - Harry and Sally Reference #1) Did they know they were missing a sock? Doesn't it bug the baby to have on only one sock, or for the sock to barely cover their toes?

So, when I became a mother this became a unit of measurement for me to prove I was a perfect parent. I vowed that I would never loose a baby sock.

I always felt like this made me a perfect mother. It shows how organized I am. It shows how much I care about and love my son, because I always stay on top of the laundry, fold it and put everything away right when it comes out of the dryer. :) LOL!

It shows that I don't have mountains of clean (or heaven forbid dirty!) laundry piled anywhere in my house. (side note- Sometimes on those messy house shows on TV they show people who live with MOUNTAINS of laundry piled everywhere. How do people who have mountains of laundry on their bed sleep at night anyway?)

Sure, once in a while a pair of socks is separated and one gets washed in one load and the second the load after. But by the end of the day all socks are paired and tucked neatly away ready to be worn the next day.

I once lost a sock a couple years ago. I didn't tell anyone for months! I just couldn't admit I was a failure. Luckily I found it folded up in a set of sheets! And once again, I went on with my head held high, knowing I was a perfect mother.

Well, today one of Awsumb's grey socks is missing. I can't find it anywhere! I could easily blame Kenneth. As a side effect of me not always being home nowadays I think he scrambles a bit as they are getting ready to go to baseball practice. And when they come home they still haven't figured out a good system to contain all their muddy clothes until I can wash them. Hopefully it will turn up in his baseball back pack or something so I can go on continuing to believe I am a perfect mother!

If you find it let me know! There may be a reward.

What things do you use to measure your parenting? What makes you a perfect parent?

Favorite Excerpts from The Read Aloud Handbook

"The purpose of literature is to provide meaning in our lives,” said Bruno Betelheim, Child Psychologist. “Finding this meaning is the greatest need and most difficult achievement for any human being at any age. Who am I? Why am I here? What can I be?” –Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook.

At work Kenneth often turns into the resident religious or life counselor. I can’t tell you how many times a coworker approaching the birth of a first baby has come in to talk to him about this basic quest. They realize that in just a short time they will be responsible for answering these questions for their child. Or at least to lead them in the right direction to find these answers themselves. The reason these friends seek out Kenneth’s advice is because they realize he seems to feel confident that he has found these answers himself. Although this is really a lifelong quest, reading the scriptures regularly with your children will help to answer these questions.

On that note, let’s talk about Fairy Tales. I have always been very frustrated with the way Disney waters down fairy tales. Did you know in the real version of The Little Mermaid she turns into sea foam? This is a huge life lesson. You cannot always have your cake and eat it too. There are also other important themes about temptations and sacrifice that are left out of the Disney version.

Though we might think the original version of fairy tales might be too frightening for young children they “admit to the child what so many parents try to cover up or avoid. The fairy tale confirms what the child has been thinking all along – that it is a cold, cruel world out there waiting to eat him alive.” It tells the child to, “take courage and if you persist, you can overcome any obstacle, conquer any foe. And best of all you can achieve your heart’s desire,” writes Jim Trelease.

“By recognizing the child’s daily fears, by addressing his courage and confidence, and by offering him hope the fairy tale presents the child with a means by which he can understand his world and himself,” continues Jim Trelease. To only read dramatically altered versions of fairy tales, “you rob your child of their essential meaning.”

“The two factors most responsible for giving the child this belief that he can make a significant contribution to life are: parents, teachers and literature” – Betelheim

“Children who are not spoken to by live and responsive adults will not learn to speak properly. Children who are not answered will stop asking question. They will become incurious. And children who are not told stories and who are not read to will have few reasons for wanting to learn to read.” - Gail E. Haley

“Fathers should make and extra effort to read to their children. Because 90% of their primary school teachers are women, young boy often associate reading with women and school work.” – Jim Trelease

I remember after Awsumb began reading more and more silently to himself I didn’t feel as if he needed me to read to him as much. I realize it was silly to feel this way.

Jim Trelease says, “The human voice is one of the most powerful tools for calming a child.”

This is so true. How do we calm babies? By talking to them, reassuring them... I personally LOVE to be read to. I am lucky enough that Kenneth will read aloud to me often. And for years now we have been Audible (an audio book monthly service) addicts! But books on tape do not provide the same thing a live person can. Audio books do not have discussion time.

We know a young man who had such a severe injury this past summer that during his recovery he could not even see well enough to watch TV. I know that his mother spent many hours reading to him. I am sure this brought him much comfort to him, especially during the beginning of his recovery process.

A few other good pieces of advice… Keep a good selection of books in the house. Just like a consumer “How much it eventually buys is determined by how much you have on display.” Also, have many different types of reading material, magazines, etc. Introduce your children to new authors, forms of media, etc. “Awareness comes before desire,” reminds Jim Trelease.

“Literature brings us closest to the human heart… When you read aloud to children you are fulfilling one of the noblest duties of cultured man.” –Jim Trelease

Totally Awesome Kid Games!

Here is a short list of some of our favorite kids games. As you will see most of them are not the basic Milton-Bradley you will find at your local dime store. Most of those games won't hold MY attention span long enough to play a game with Awsumb. I do think JR. Clue and JR. Monopoly are pretty well done. Awsumb enjoys playing those very much. But for the most part we prefer other companies like Game Wright, Ravensburger, etc. (see the game links under Fun and Games) Here are some of our favorite KID GAMES...

Hey That's My Fish - strategically move your penguins around to obtain the most files tiles. Be careful not to isolate your penguins on a small ice chunk.

Labyrinth - Draw coins to determine your quest, then rework the maze to get to them. He who collects the most treasures wins!

Numbers League - One of our favorite new finds last summer! Draw cards to build super heroes that add up to a certain number. Great addition practice, planning, etc. There are also advanced rules. Boys LOVE the art!

Zooreka - This one is from the makers of Cranium. We were so excited for it to come out that we drove our local store clerks nuts asking about it. Earn food, shelter and animals to buy habitats for your zoo. This is like a kids version of Settlers.

Blokus - once you get over the fact this is NOT Tetras, Blokus is a great game. As we have a small family good 2 player games for both adults and kids are always popular. This plays just fine with 2 players.

Castle Keep - Draw tiles to build a castle for your knight. Choose to build on your own castle or attack your opponents. Awsumb and his friend LOVE this game. Sometimes it is very short, other times lasts a long time. They usually play multiple times.

Landlock - Strategically place tiles to earn the most points. Try to create islands or ponds and lock your opponent in.

What games do your kids like to play?

My little bookworm

Awsumb
Reading
Magic
Tree
House
6- 2008
Awsumb is a little bookworm. He has always been this way because Kenneth and I enjoy reading and there are books in every room of our house. Last year a friend of my Auntie's gave me The Read-Aloud Handbook. I wish I had this book earlier. It's a great resource for parents of young kids. But the biggest thing I learned from this book was something that should have been obvious. When reading books to your kids read something you enjoy.

Awsumb had these Disney books from doing the Dr. Seuss and Disney book of the month clubs. They were poorly written, seemed to drag on and on and were really long. When Awsumb would bring them to me I moaned and groaned and sometimes even refused to read them! Part of it is that I don't care for the way Disney waters down stories. But, all that matters is I just didn't enjoy reading them.

When you read books you enjoy, your child will sense your enthusiasm. If you read a book you don't care for your child will also sense this and may come to view reading as a chore. Even though it was so obvious I realized this to be a major factor in getting parents to read to kids. I immediately sorted through our picture books and donated the ones that I didn't enjoy reading. From then on when Awsumb and I were choosing books I made sure to pick ones I liked and ones I wanted to read.

Some of the books we are currently reading to Awsumb are...

The Boxcar Children - I remembered reading this as a child and wanted to share the experience with Awsumb. Awsumb loves to see what things Henry will build next. I think he also likes to imagine he is part of this sibling group as they care for one another.

Peter Pan - Kenneth has been reading this story out loud to Awsumb. You probably think of a watered down Disney version when you think of this story. But, this book actually has much more advanced grammar and vocabulary than one might think.

Lemony Snicket - This 'Series of Unfortunate Events' was a book Kenneth discovered years ago and couldn't wait to read them with Awsumb. They only read book one together and moved onto other things. But a few days ago we caught Awsumb reading Book 2 by himself.

Some of the 'my first chapter book' type of series that Awsumb has loved reading on his own this past year are...

Nate the Great and Jigsaw Jones - Awsumb loves mystery books. These series are simple. But Awsumb loves to read them over and over again and find new ones at the library. Plus he loves to act these stories out and play detective. I found a notepad in his desk recently. Awsumb had made two lists titled, 'suspects' and 'clues' under which were things like 'toxic waste' and 'fingerprints.'

Also check out the A to Z Mysteries and Bailey School Kids series.

Magic Tree House of course! Awsumb enjoys following Jack and Annie on quests through time.  There are also the Merlin Mysteries, which are a little longer and more fantasy than history

Nonfiction – Magic Tree House Research Guides.  Don’t forget about nonfiction books!  Awsumb loved researching about animals, planets, other countries, etc.

Magic School Bus Chapter Books - I think there was a PBS series about this teacher? We never saw those shows, but Awsumb has enjoyed some of the chapter books. They throw in little scientific details.

Dinosaur Cove - Follow kids on their adventure to the prehistoric world of dinos. Awsumb can't get enough of these. #5 and #6 are just coming out and Awsumb already has his book order in at school to get them.

Dragon Slayers' Academy - Awsumb just started this series. So I don't know much about it yet, but it looks fun.

Encyclopedias - Kids love reading about the world around them. Don't forget to have non-fiction books around the house. There are many children's type encyclopedias available. I loved reading through encyclopedias as a child. Another good resource for this category is the Kids National Geographic Magazine. Awsumb looks forward to getting the new issue each month.

I recently bought him the Encyclopedia Brown and Superfudge collections too. It's been fun to remember the books we enjoyed as children and share those with Awsumb. Next I want to read the Mixed-up files of Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler to Awsumb.

What books do you remember reading as a child?

The run-on sentence blog

Let's just get this out there! I know everything I say comes out in one long run-on sentence. I have always been that way. I can't control it. I just have to say what I'm thinking... and my thoughts usually bubble up faster that I can organize them into proper sentences. My psychiatrist told me that is a common problem for those who suffer from OCD. So let's just rename this blog right here and now The Run-on Sentence Blog! Or how about the Comma Splice Blog. The ... blog would be a good one too!

Where did Wendy's Soapbox come from anyway? Well, years ago a friend of ours noticed that I often seemed to pull out my imaginary soapbox to lecture people. The thing is the soapbox wasn't so imaginary. This friend actually has video of me standing on top of a stool lecturing people! That's NOT a video you are going to see here. So, forgive me when I pull out my little soap box and lecture. When I feel passionate about something I just have to get it out there!

So, how about I write about my day in one sentence!

"She talked to people all day, but when she came home realized she had not really talked to anyone all day."

Can you write about your day in one sentence? Here is some inspiration.

http://www.onesentence.org/

Soap Obsessed

Ever since I was a little girl I have been obsessed with soap! I just can't get enough. I have secret stashes of soaps and wipes. Ironically I have a bit of a phobia when it comes to Purell. OK, back up. Years ago when Purell (alcohol based hand sanitizer) first came out I worked at a book store. The only restrooms were located either down stairs or upstairs. Because I dealt with so many people each day I longed for a break to go and wash my hands. Unfortunately these didn't come very often. I found Purell and was in heaven.

Purell and wipes gave me a sense of peace, if only for a moment, that I could decontaminate myself. Years later the thought of Purell began to terrorize me! The obsessions and rituals that a person suffering from OCD has are not always rational. This is one of them. When you use a hand sanitizer you cannot rinse it off. Because of this I began to think, "the only thing worse than germs is DEAD GERMS!" So, if you have ever offered me a squirt of Purell and I declined. Now you know why!

(I just shuttered thinking about the dead germs!)

Back to soap... Here is a printable soap deal from Johnsons and Johnsons. Awsumb and I love Buddie Bars. I won't say how many I ended up with. Let's just say my supply will last Awsumb through his teen years LOL!

Click on the links below to print your coupons:
$1/1 Johnson’s Buddies (IE) (Firefox)
$2/2 Johnson’s Buddies (IE) (Firefox)
$2/2 Johnson’s Shampoo, Conditioner or Buddies (IE) (Firefox)
$3/3 Johnson’s Products (IE) (Firefox)

Totally Awesome Game Night

Our favorite family night is spent at the ballpark. But when baseball is not in season you can often find us playing board games at home. We have quite the collection and are always on the look out for new games.

Cosmic Encounters - obtain 5 bases on planets other than your own. Your alien powers change the rules of the game. As far as Strategy games go, it all started with this game. Kenneth has this really cool friend that always showed up for game night with new unusual games.

And of course we love basics like Settlers and Carcassonne. Other old standbys include...

Tikal -set up base camps, dig for treasure. This is an easy game to get started. The "bits" are fun to use and usually there isn't to many hard feelings!

EVO - evolve your dinos to keep your species alive through climate change. I LOVE this game. I was just thinking it's a bit relevant to a main topic of conversation lately. It may be out of print.

Power Grid - compete to build the best network of power lines and stations, choosing which cities to supply and what sources of power to use. Another favorite! Though, it took us a few games to figure out set up, rules, etc.

BANG! - A Sheriff, deputies, outlaws and a renegade, what more could you ask for! Everyone we have shared this game with has run to the store for their own copy.

Pandemic - players work as a group to stop four diseases from turning into a pandemic. Kenneth really likes this game, but I just can't get into the team dynamics! LOL! I guess because I can't be the winner!

Dread Pirate - try to collect as many treasures as you can while avoiding the dread pirate. The "bits" to this game are super cool. Once we get the big pirate map spread out and set up our metal ships Awsumb has to run and put a pirate costume on. The game can be played with regular rules or simple rules.

Coleretto - a simple card game of collections. This was a new one for us. Quick to figure out and Awsumb enjoyed it.

I will have to do a separate post on some kids favorites another day. But I guess you know what we'll be doing for family night.

What's your perfect family night like? Or better yet your favorite game?