Rye Bread?

I have always had very vivid dreams.  Recently I dreamed we were packing up after one of Awsumb's little league games.  It was snowing!  He was separated from us and as I started walking around trying to find him I realized we were at my high school campus.  A moment later someone says to me, "You're the graduation speaker and you've been asked to speak on rye bread" and pushes me on stage.  While walking up to the stage I came up with this...

Apparently your high school theme this year has been 'Rye Bread.'  I don't know much about rye bread, except that I guess it's used to make Reuben sandwiches. Actually I am not even sure what makes up a Reuben, but I think it's pastrami, mustard, sauerkraut on rye bread.   I am not even sure I like Reuben sandwiches, but they always sound good.  At any typical sandwich shop you would order one,  it's probably oversized and over priced.  So it's probably best to share it with someone. 

And that's pretty much how life works.  You're not going to like everything in life.  But you might enjoy it anyway if you find someone to share it with.


Yes, I totally gave this speech in my sleep!  Woke up and thought, they that's not a bad thought...

Anyone want to split a Reuben?

Nobody I'd Rather Walk Through Life With Than You!

Kenneth,

There is nobody I'd rather walk through life with than you.  

And by walking I mean very, very slowly!

At this point I know you are sick of walking along side me as I shuffle along after recovering from my surgery.  But seriously. I could have found no one better to be by my side all these years.  I can't wait to celebrate 20 years with my best friend next year!

I LOVE YOU!

Always and Forever, 

Wendy

The Letter

Dennis Awsumb, Duane Hardy,

Little Awsumb and Kenneth Hardy

October 2006 Awsumb's 5th Birthday

 Mariner's Dugout

Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington

 

When we first learned that Duane was sick my father was among the first to invite us to come stay at his home anytime at a moments notice so that we could visit and spend time with the Hardy family during what he knew would be a tough next so many months. 

During this time my father was very busy and traveling lot. He didn't want to intrude and didn't know what he could do.  And in the end Duane went pretty fast. 

Kenneth and I grew up just 2 streets apart and our families went way back and our fathers had always been friends.  Our little brothers played ball together.  Our fathers played church sports together.  They also served together in the church clerk's office.

So when we drove out for the funeral my father told me he really wanted to share some things with Shirley but didn't know if he could be composed enough to do it. My reply, "Say it in a Hallmark."  The next morning he left specially selected cards out for Kenneth and Shirley that included the letter below.

This past few weeks many people have been especially kind to us, sharing cards, flowers, plants or asking where they could send a donation or simply a hug and an "I'm sorry."  But this letter has touched us all the most and I will keep it as a treasure for my son to have to remember that his Grandfathers were friends and both loved him very much.  I hope Awsumb learns from both of our fathers about commitment, working hard and their sacrifice and service to our country.  This letter encompassed so much of what Duane meant to all of us and Kenneth's family even decided it needed to be read during his memorial service.

Kenneth and I are so blessed to have grown up with such outstanding fathers!

So with my father's permission, the letter:

Duane Taught Me Many Things

Duane taught me to be passionate about many things - whatever Duane was doing he gave it his full attention. If Duane was playing ball or doing finance work for the Church it was the only thing that mattered at the time.

Duane taught me to never give up.  If we were playing softball and were down by 10 runs Duane would say we are still in this and many times we would win the game.

Duane taught me to never wear glasses in the ocean.  Once when we were in California he lost his glasses in the ocean, from that day on I never wore my glasses in the ocean.

Duane taught me to be helpful to other people.  Many times he would figure out a way to help a neighbor in need either by doing the task himself or finding someone else that could help.

Duane taught me to always be the first one "there."  Duane always liked to be at the opening day of any event - like a Bees or Trappers game.  I enjoy to this day going to things on the opening day.

Duane taught me to never run up a score on another team. Once at a BYU football game BYU was way behind and the other team kept scoring.  Duane said, "LaVell Edwards would never do that."  So I try to never run up a score on anybody.

Duane taught me to see into the future.  When a ball diamond was being built behind the church Duane was always the first one to sign up to work on the field, whether to rake the rocks or lay the sod.  As we raked those rocks and laid the sod, Duane would say, "This will be a great ball field some day."

Duane taught me to always support my wife.  Duane and Shirley had many different interests from each other and supported each other in those interests.

Duane taught me to love my kids no matter what. Duane was always interested and proud of each of his children's interests and accomplishments.

Duane taught me to plan ahead - we spent time together in the ward clerk's office planning how to get Wendy and Kenneth to go out with each other - it was one of the best things we did as a team.  As a result we share a wonderful grandson.

Duane taught me many things - I will miss that guy.

-Dennis Awsumb

18 Year of Ups and Downs

18 years ago today

I married my best friend,

the one I laugh with,

live for, dream with, love

 And because Pixar told a better love story

 in the movie UP!  in just 8 minutes

than Stephanie Meyer wrote in four long books:

Kenneth and I found ourselves driving around cemeteries the other day and I was thinking, maybe we should make visiting our chosen cemetery more of a regular thing so that when we do finally have to leave one of us there at least we can remember being there in happier times.

These 18 years have had a lot of up and downs.

I hope that I have brought some sunshine to his down times,

as he has brought unconditional comfort and love to mine.

And though our dreams and wishes have changed over the years,

as the reality sets in that some will be realized and some will never be,

there is no one I would rather walk through life with!

 

Thanks for keeping me company on this roller coaster we call life.

I hope the next few years are full of more UPS than downs!

I love you Kenneth!

And thanks for the above anniversary gift - it's perfect!

(A Walk in the Park by Richard Sznerch)

 

(Kenneth and I at Safeco Field)

 

As I have said before Happily Ever After? 
I don't know.  At least it will be forever!

Popcorn, Peanuts, Cracker Jacks!

Awsumb, Kenneth and Wendy

August 2003 Safeco Field

Baseball season is finally here!  You know you have been season ticket holders too long when you have favorite ushers and you know the vendors at the stadium and all their little silly rhymes... When Awsumb was in preschool the teacher reported he loved to play with the toy cash register and yell, "Beer, here!" 

I don't know what it is about baseball, but I just love it!  I always have... though Kenneth will beg to differ because his memories of me as a teenager watching baseball were more about me reading a fashion magazine and not paying attention to the game at all.  Kenneth and I often argue about what our first "date" was because we didn't "date" so much as become friends and decide to get married.  But one of our earliest memories of each other is when on family vacation our parents planned for us all to meet up at a Dodgers-Cubs game in the 80's. I still have my ticket stub!

But that's just the thing... Baseball isn't just baseball, it's being out in the open air on a warm summer evening.  Even if you don't like sports, how can you not love an evening at the ballpark?

To some people baseball might seem slow or even boring...  which honestly might be some of the reasons I like it - there is plenty of time for me to talk AND figure out what's going on!  Actually, it's really a game of strategy and I think that's why I love it so much!  It's all about the figures, numbers and stats!

Baseball is like a good novel...  introduce characters, set up a basic plot, add a twist and hope for a happy ending!

The game of baseball is not unlike a lifelong, well-worn, comfortable love affair: After a time, you know what to expect, but you can never predict what will happen. You also learn how to forgive," writes Anna Holmes on Why Smart Women Love Baseball

As Kenneth and I come up on 16 years of marriage we are like a baseball game, well worn and comfortable.  And although we know what we can expect from each other, we can never predict what will happen next - and yes, we both have learned how to forgive!

From little league to major league I rather be at the ballpark than just about anywhere else on a summer evening!  I'm not alone, baseball is often referred to as The Great American Pastime and just maybe it really does have magical powers to heal broken hearts as it did after 9/11 as seen in Nine Innings From Ground Zero.

I do have one pet peeve regarding baseball...If you know what's good for you - you'd better remove that sticker from your cap!

Killer UNO RULES!

Coming up on 16 years and here's another piece to The Love Story. You could say that if it wasn't for Killer UNO! I wouldn't have married Kenneth.  I always loved to play games, but after the preteen years I just didn't play games very often.  I had gone out with Kenneth a couple times 'just because' and one lazy Sunday afternoon while a friend and I were visiting Kenneth called and invited us over for Game Night, which was a weekly Sunday occasion at the Hardy house.  "No way," I protested to my friend... "He is such a NERD!"  But my friend thought it would be fun to see Kenneth's brother Greg, and it wasn't like we had much else to do.... And that's the beginning of my metamorphose into a Board Game Geek.

After 16 years we have decided these are the most balanced rules...

UNO! Awsumb-Hardy House Rules

1. Dealing- Begin with 2 UNO decks. Dealer chooses how many cards are dealt. (1-?) (Wendy is known for dealing only one card, leaving all players scrambling to quickly turn over their cards and scream UNO! Often a game will end there, other times a one card deal leads to a very long game- it just depends on the cards in the deck!)

2. Play- Play starts with the player to the left of the dealer and continues clockwise until reversed. Play begins the second the dealer flips the first card. (You may flip the top card before all players are ready, or make sure your own cards are in order first! This can be used as strategy because matches may be played immediately after the play begins.  Kenneth is known for not sorting his cards as strategy to mix up the person who may receive them later in the game.)

3. Draw 'til you play. If a player has no legal card to play, the play must continue to draw from the pile until a playable card is drawn. Shuffle as needed. If you draw Wild cards, you don't have to play them but you must play the first matching color card you draw.

4. Matching- Any player can play out of turn if you can make an exact match to the current card. Play then continues from that person on, skipping the players in between the last played card and the match. If you have two identical cards in your hand then you can play both at the same time. This is particularly good when it is 2 (identical) draw-cards, or 2 (identical) reverse cards, etc. (2 Reverse= no change. 2 Skip = skip 2 players)

5. Match and play- A variation of the matching rule is to allow the person who matched to match and then play a legal card from their hand, giving them an extra turn. (This rule is controversial, so it is optional.)

6. Draw Stacks- Any Draw card starts a draw stack. Instead of drawing the appropriate cards, a player may “fight” with another draw card, ADDING to the draw effects and sending it on to the next player. You can “fight” a draw with any Draw Two, Reverse, Skip or a Wild Draw Four. Normal color rules apply. The number cards and the standard Wild card cannot be played in the draw stack. (Skip cards may also be stacked, sending the skip around the table)

7. Wild Cards- In normal play, you can play a Wild Draw Four, even if you have any of the appropriate color available. When playing any Wild card, in normal play or in the stack, you must still declare the new color and cannot use the same color.

8. Sixes & Nines- Sixes and nines may be played interchangeably. Beware, if you are caught you must draw six or nine!

9. Pass on Zero- When any one of the "0" cards are played everyone must pass their hand to the adjacent person in the direction of play. Only after a swap or draw stack has completed is a final winner determined… and it may NOT be the person who originally “played their last card.”

10. Switch on Zero- A variation for the “0” card is to allow the player who plays the “0” the option of switching hands with another player.

11. Going Out- Be cautious of playing a draw card or a “0” as your final card, it will trigger additional action! The hand does not end until play is resolved and, if you end up drawing cards, play will continue.

12. Scoring- The winner is the one who gets rid of all their cards first, and then everyone "counts" their remaining cards (as in the usual game- remaining numbers are added together, Draw Two, Reverse, Skip or Wild - 20 points; Wild Draw Four- 50 points). The game stops when the first player gets to 500, and the one with the lowest score wins!

13. Pirates- In honor of Little Awsumb (Optional) Players must cheat – Suggested methods include, but are not limited to…

looking at other players' hands, playing two or more cards at once to get rid of them faster,

hiding cards anywhere you can (up sleeves, under the table or back on the deck),

playing the wrong card when no one is looking (if caught player draw that # of cards),

passing and not playing cards you may want to keep for a future draw stack…

Players must use pirate voices and say "arggh" a lot (adds to the atmosphere)

Killer UNO servers as a really good 'gateway game' to introduce new friends to our board game nights and our ever growing collection of good quality strategy board games.

What are your House Rule variations?

What's wrong with teaching dance to 6 year olds!

Recently we saw the movie Adjustment Bureau, which all about destiny.  The main character is faced with the choice to let the love of his life lead her life without him as she goes on to be a great dancer and choreographer or spend their life together AND.... wait for it... teach dance to six year olds!

What's so wrong with teaching dance to 6 year olds anyway?  Happily Ever After with the love of your life, a family and inspiring six year olds, giving them a love and appreciation for music and movement sounds like a happy ending if I ever heard one!  After being released from serving for years in the Children's Primary Presidency at church I was presented with a beautiful framed saying:

One Hundred Years from now

It will not matter

what kind of car I drove,

What kind of house I lived in,

how much money was in my bank account

nor what my clothes looked like.

But the world may be a better place because

I was important in the life of a child.

 
Sometimes I think people mix up priorities...  Besides the fact that this movie was advertised to look like adventure, it was simple a love story and because I don't usually like romance stuff... I didn't think think it was very good.... This movie was so predictable, I actually spent time checking out the decor and lighting in the theater!  BLACK SWAN on the other hand - LOVED IT!

What's your version of Happily Ever After?

I am coming up on 16 years of marriage. Click to read about my Love Story

And don't forget this artists version of these Fallen Princesses

To read more about this subject and the Divine Role of Women see my previous blog: Making the Home a Sacred Place

Best and Worst of Christmas 2010

 

KLEENEX!  That's right my husband gave me a box of Kleenex....  Under the tree, wrapped with a bow and everything! OK, it's not as bad as it sounds.  First off you should know that years before we had children we stopped buying Christmas gifts to eachother.  Instead we buy cartloads of toys for kids in need. One year we filled the car with so many toys and games, that I had to get in and let Kenneth stack stuff all around me so it would all fit...  Too bad that was pre-digital camera days, because it was hilarious - my face pinned to the passenger side window surrounded by Hot Wheels race tracks and Little People Doll houses!

This was such a fun tradition for us during the years we were praying desperately to have a child of our own.  We continue the tradition now that we have a little boy. Every year Awsumb and Kenneth take a big bag of toys over to the Giving Tree at Microsoft and we look for other ways to help during the season.

Kenneth and I still exchange stockings.  Because of the size limitation this usually leads us to give only smaller more thoughtful items. And lucky for me all my favorite things fit in a stocking ie: perfume, jewelry, lipgloss, markers and pens, etc.  Plus there is usually enough room for a paperback and a movie.

So this year, Kenneth hands me this funny round shaped package all wrapped up with a bow and says, "this woulnd't fit."  What could it be?  And what an unusual shape, I must admit I was a bit excited!  So, I pulled off the paper when what to my wondering eyes should appear?  A cream and brown swirled box of Kleenex, more oval than round!  Because this has been the Christmas of surprises, I'll say that I was sure surprised!

Actually it was a pretty sweet little gift. I suffer from year-round allergies.  Years of daily nose bleeds, steroid sprays and trauma to my nasal passages has led to quite a mess.  When I see a new doctor I have to explain that, "NO I have never used cocaine!"  I take multiple allergy prescriptions and still resort to Benadryl many days just for some relief. 

I can never seem to keep enough tissue in the house and it's often at the top of my list.  These days I prefer Puff's to Kleenex. I guess Kenneth has been watching me lately as I look at the cute little designer boxes of Kleenex and pass them up, selecting thebig industrial - family sized boxes of tissue.  So he just wanted me to have something cute and fun... even though it didn't fit in my stocking!  But it sure is funny and I am never going to let him live this one down!

I shouldn't be so hard on him because of our last minute trip to Disney and all that we have going on we agreed to go really simple on our stockings this year.   Kenneth still managed to sneak in a Alfred Hitchcock boxed set of DVD's.  And in all fairness among Kenneth's stocking goodies was a DVD he got FOR FREE from the Disney Movie Club! LOL!  Hey, it was in the pile of DVD's and games set aside for Awsumb and I thought he bought it because he wanted me to put it in his stocking! 

What was the best and worst gift you received this year?

Love Is A Mix Tape

The story goes something like this... On one of our first 'dates' (if you can call it that), I leaned over and switched off Kenneth's precious radio and that was the end of the soundtrack of his life!

If I remember right, we were having a heated discussion, but I didn't consciously do this to get his full attention or something... I just did it.  The thing is sometimes music in the background just winds me up or distracts me.  Sometimes we listen to music in bed and I finally just have to turn it off because I will stay awake listening to it and never let myself fall asleep!

Kenneth's love of music started at an early age.  By age 7 he was painting his face and making carboard guitars and rocking out to KISS (Ya, I bet that freaked his mom out!) and then of course there was Billy Joel and Olivia Newton-John!  He found his voice in Jr. High choir classes and by High School performed with the Granger Madrigal's and On Stage (a performing group connected to a local dance studio.)

Kenneth likes just about all music (even country, which I can't stand  - yuck!) and has quite the collection.  I am so sick of finding bottle caps and pieces of carboard piled on his desk because they include free music download codes!  Thank goodness for music subscriptions like Rhapsody! 

When we were first married Kenneth actually sung in a grunge band. The grunge scene became popular while he served and LDS mission and though he didn't care for it he wrote some lyrics and sung as the lead singer to help out a friend. I never even saw him perform because I wasn't 21 and couldn't get into the private club's where they performed. Kenneth didn't really like singing in smokey clubs and it didn't last. 

If Kenneth didn't have to work at Mircrosoft to earn the big bucks to support his demanding wife, he would like to grow up to be Ben Folds (a modern day Billy Joel).  In the meantime he makes a mean mix tape!  He has been making mix tapes for me since before we were really “together.” Over the years he makes them with current old and even traditional vocals like Frank Sinatra and creates a story that’s relevant to what we are going through in our relationship, for special road trips, etc.

He made a CD for Awsumb once that included super hero theme songs and ended with the song Never A Better Hero, which he is often asked to sing in church. It’s a contemporary LDS song about Christ being the greatest hero. Who would think to add the spider-man theme song with a hymn? Kenneth!

If I ask Kenneth to do any random household chore, he takes more time selecting 'just the right music' for the job, than it would have taken for me to do that task myself!  And like father like son, Awsumb LOVES music and has it playing 24-7 when he's hanging out in his room or around the house. I actually had to draw a line on his kids CD player when he was 2 so he woundn't turn it up too loud!  So, although from MY perception we always have music on in the house...  I guess Kenneth seems to think I'm always  switching it off.  I just get sick of songs really fast (and don't tolerate much but alternative). 

Check out the book Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time  by Rob Sheffield 
Kenneth and I think the audio version should come with the soundtrack!

I guess this new generation no longer uses the term "mix tape" as we all just make "play lists" on our ipods or music players these days... Kenneth often gives me mix tapes at Christmas, Valentines or Anniversaries. The truth is I look forward to them as much as any other sparkly something he might give me (but don't tell him that!). Kenneth just had a way with coming up with great themes and putting songs together.

A few years ago, during a very trying time in our life Kenneth began a mix tape he called The Comeback that began with The Mixed Tape by Jack's Manneuin.  The song ends with this line,
"And this is my mixed tape for her,
It's like I wrote
every note
with my own fingers."

And because I know he can't spend all day writing music, it means a lot that he takes the time to make these for me! Thanks Kenneth!

Making The Home A Sacred Place

Through my daily struggle to break the chains of abuse from my own childhood I must be continually conscious of my parenting decisions. This is why I carefully study the women around me and why learning about attachment parenting, positive discipline and the continuum concept have been so important to me.

I was just reading this talk from Elder M. Russell Ballard given to Mothers and Daughters April 2010 regarding the divine role of Mothers.

I would like to share with you a few passages that are significant to my own life...

"I understand that some of you young women do not have mothers with whom you can discuss these issues. And many of you women do not presently have daughters in your lives. But because all women have within their divine nature both the inherent talent and the stewardship to mother, most of what I will say applies equally to grandmothers, aunts, sisters, stepmothers, mothers-in-law, leaders, and other mentors who sometimes fill the gaps for these significant mother-daughter relationships."

He goes onto talk about the importance of being nurturing....

"Teach your daughters to find joy in nurturing children. This is where their love and talents can have the greatest eternal significance. Consider in this context President Harold B. Lee’s injunction that “the most important . . . work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.”

Elder Ballard defines a nurturing parent in The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood, a speech from August 2003.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World "teaches that "mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." Nurturing refers to parenting behaviors such as warmth, support, bonding, attachment, recognizing each child's unique needs and abilities, and attending to children's needs. Nurturing in and of itself is more important in the development of a child than is any particular method or technique of child rearing. It hardly needs saying that nurturing is best carried out in a stable, safe family context."
And finally my complete objective as I strive to be a good mother...

"A mother's nurturing love arouses in children, from their earliest days on earth, an awakening of the memories of love and goodness they experience in their premortal existence, Because our mothers love us, we learn, or more accurately remember, that God also loves us."
To my Auntie Laurel and other women in my life who "fill in the gaps" to help me feel God's love - Thank you! When we strive to provide a place for our children to launch from and return to each day, where they know they will feel God's love... what more can we do?

It's A Love Story

Once upon a time, when I was young, I dreamt of the day I would be rescued from the Wicked Witch of the West by my Knight in Shining Armor, who would sweep me up, onto his white horse and carry me away into the sunset. Instead I was rescued by a nerd in a white Mazda with no air conditioning! Seriously, who lives in Utah and buys a car with no air conditioning? A nerd car shopping in the winter that's who!

Kenneth wasn't the man of my dreams, but I knew he would take care of me, my father approved and I married him. And as Kenneth likes to say, about 10 years later I finally fell in love.

May 16th will be 15 years since that rainy day we were day we were married. Since then we have been through a divorce (my parents), a 1600 mile move (Salt Lake City to Seattle), the death of most of our grandparents, a successful birth, a major home remodel, all weaved together with a great deal of pain and happiness.

The fairy tales of my childhood all ended with the marriage. But that's really when the story just begins. And 15 years later we've introduced the characters, set up the plot and this story is just getting good! Will it be "Happily Ever After"? Who knows, but at least it will be FOREVER!

It's A Love Story - Taylor Swift
I hate country music, but this is pretty cute...



John Schmidt - Love Story meets Viva La Vida



Anita Renfro - Love Story
This is a great spoof of Taylor Swifts Love Story



Franny's Dream -Caralyn Buehner and Mark Buehner
Fanny Agnes is a "sturdy girl" hoping her Fairy Godmother will deliver a prince.. or at least the mayor's son? Instead she marries Heber Jensen, a farmer. Together they share a home filled with babies, laughter, and love. By the time Fannny's Fairy Godmother arrives Fanny realized she has found her very own Happily Ever After!

I sent this book to my baby sister for one of her anniversaries. I recommend this book for girls of all ages! Because happily ever is usually realized after it's lived.

And if that's not enough reality for you.. read my blog about Fallen Princesses to see one artists version of not so Happily Ever After...