Why is my son perched on top of a stool set upon the coffee table in the living room? FESTIVUS! Or at least and anti-version of Festivus... Let me explain...
The high expectations of the holidays stressed out George's father on the popular TV show - Seinfeld, prompting him to start his own holiday called Festivus, a holiday in which you told you family members all the reasons why you were disappointed with them... and don't forget the dreaded feats of skill!
You might have figured out that I have high expectations for those around me. I leave no room for failure and expect everyone to do better than their best. While I do believe parents and teachers should hold their students and children to high expectations I realize lately I may have taken things too far.
As the school year came to a close, Awsumb's school teacher continued to remind me what a good boy Awsumb is and that he didn't need strict punishments. As all the children his age, Awsumb's big life lesson for the year was learning not to talk back. This included not arguing and simply doing what he was told, even if it didn't make sense. This also included being able to take criticism from teachers, coaches and parents without loosing his temper. During the year a few harsh punishments were dealt as Awsumb struggled to learn this life skill.
These punishments were given out of pure frustration for not being able to help Awsumb learn to deal with conflict in a better manner. Although it was comforting to know that many parents with kids this age were dealing with the same thing, we have always expected more from our son. From the time he was a baby we have expected him to behave like a mini adult. And because Awsumb is such a wonderful little boy, sometimes it's hard to remember he is just a kid.
Determined to break a chain of abuse from my own childhood I spent a lot of time during the toddler and preschool years reading about positive parenting. I could not simply do what had been done to me, because I knew years of belittling would break my child's spirit. Practicing positive parenting techniques helped me teach my child proper behavior by my own example and giving him positive feedback and even reward for his success. But as a child grows out of those days of simple parenting techniques are often set aside for bigger punishments and lectures.
This summer we have spent a lot of time working with Awsumb. Reminding him what a valuable part of our family he is and letting him know that his responsibilities and place in this house are important to us and to keep our family happy and healthy. After a particularly good week we realized Awsumb had really been showing us his true spirit. He has grown to fill the high expectations we have set for him as his kind heart and happy attitude have been on display for all to see. We are so proud of his efforts, but also realize that much of this is simply because of the positive feedback he has been feeding on, encouraging him to grown and shine more each day.
And so last night we decided to celebrate ANTI-FESTIVUS. I placed a stool on the coffee table in the living room and I asked Awsumb to climb up as Kenneth and I praised him for some of the wonderful things he did this week. We also thanked him for the fun times we shared working and playing with him. And of course our little boy just ate it up! We ended with our family cheer, "Try, Try, Try!" I think this will leave a more lasting impression on him that any punishment we could have given him for arguing and talking back.
Which brings us to...
7-11 Free Slurpee Day
2010 BRAIN FREEZE RALLY!
What sort of positive parenting techniques do you use for your school children?
Do you celebrate any made up holidays at your house?
